I deserve to feel like shit because I am shit, and I don't deserve to have friends. I'm so dirty and filthy and disgusting and I deserve to rot in some hole because all I'm doing is dragging everyone down with me and it's so goddamn selfish of me and I hate it.
I don't want her to go down state. I'm going to miss her so much, and I won't be able to talk to her as much, since she doesn't have her phone any more and I can't make sure she feels okay or check on her or do anything like that and I'm so worried about her and I don't want her to be so far away it hurts I can't stop crying she hasn't been far away before since her phone was gone and she hasn't been gone for so long and I didn't get to see her before she's gonna leave. I don't want her to go but it's so selfish and I'm such a pathetic little piece of shit and I hate myself for it I'm so sorry for existing but please don't leave me please.
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