I'm in a terrible mood. I don't want to do my homework. I don't want to bike miles in the cold, just because my mother won't let me get my damn license. I don't want to make this stupid ass game board just because my french teacher doesn't want to teach us. I just want to eat. And do things I want.
She was so fucking happy to get rid of me too. So fucking ready to say goodbye to me today, and not have to talk to me for hours upon hours. Some days, I wish she wouldn't talk to me at all. It's not like I can do anything. And I can't help that I get so angry over every little thing she does. What's the point in complaining about it continuously to me, if you won't take my advice?
Ugh. I guess I should have probably eaten. I don't want to go to this governmental meeting. I want to take a nap and slit my wrists and eat. But at the same time, I want to starve myself, sleep through the meeting, and completely piss everyone off. That's my self-destructive side, I can feel it. I want to hurt myself. I want there to be consequences for me living. I want to kill myself, I'm so angry. I hate this person I'm inside. I hate this pathetic piece of trash I have to keep being all the time. Why am I stuck with this useless piece of flesh to live in? I don't need to be hungry, I'm fine. And why am I stuck in this short, pathetic, ugly girl? She's worthless. She'll never do anything with her life, and she's bound to die. I've tried to kill her so many times. I wish she'd just die, so I can either go on to be what I really want to be or just stop having to live here.
And now I'm tired and cold. I think I'll fall asleep, if just for a little while. I'm useless here. I want to kill her.
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