It's pathetic but hilarious

I'm hurting myself just because I want something, isn't it funny? I don't think the crazy pills are working.
I can't go out and do anything without money but I won't rely on others because I already owe everyone so much and it's hard to keep track of all this debt as it piles up.
Honestly, even the thought of all of my debt keeps me inside, beating myself, just for even making decisions that put me more indebted to others. I hate myself. I'm disgusting.