Completely mad

I'm hitting rock bottom these days. I didn't eat well today and so now I'm starving myself. I'm so hungry but I don't want to put good food in myself. It's such a waste. I'm just going to go lie in bed. I don't need to eat anything to lie in bed. I just need to go do my homework. But it's so hard to do my homework when I'm so drained.
It's pathetic. I keep making excuses for why I'm such a lazy fuck up. But I just need to get up and do the work. If I do the work maybe then I can allow myself to eat. I'm such a fat ass, I really need to cut back on my eating. I wish my body wasn't so used to eating. And that my medicine didn't have to be taken with food. Then I wouldn't have to eat at all. I used to be really good at that. I could go ages without eating before, but now I'm so used to being a fat ass that it hurts to be so hungry.
I hate myself.