I have no concept of self

I don't know who I am as a person anymore. All I know is that my sense of excitement and adventure has been broken by my cruel sense of self-preservation. I don't go on adventures by myself. I hardly do anything without M. It's been two weeks and I haven't made any friends. I'm tired all the time. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I just want Sydney to pay me back my money. I'm not sure even the scraps of friendship we might have now are even worth anything, especially since I'm the only one who bothers with anything.
I'm tempted to send her a message but I feel like I should at least wait a little bit. I should really do my laundry.

Dorm Life

I know it's been a really long time since I've had to post here but now I can't post anywhere else.

I moved into a dorm this semester, I'm living with a roommate that I'm not too fond of, I can't eat anything because I don't know how my meal plan works and I'm too anxious to ask questions because if I ask questions I'll have to beat myself to feel better again but I can't do that here while I'm at college. I just want to cry and tell my parents I want to go home but my roommate is always fucking here and I'm not going to be a weak ass little cunt who can't handle being around people. I just. I hate it. I have no friends at college, I'm being a pissy little bitch because I'm hungry, and I'm just so tired of all of this. I wasn't ready to go from community college to this. I hate this. I don't want to have to spend all my time and money on books for classes and I don't want to always have to fucking socialize with this kindergartener of a roommate, and I don't want to have to eat around people or worry about my fucking roommate always needing to talk to me about everything I fucking hate her. I wish I didn't have a roommate I wish I could just cry in peace and fucking pee in peace and eat without restrictions i'm so fucking tired of today i just want to go to bed but it is only seven