This is the part where we can't go back.
Where I can't cry and ask you to hold me in your arms anymore. Where I can't say, I'm sorry, please, just make it better for a second. Please just make me feel better. Curl up in bed with me and pet my stomach and let me forget. Eat chocolate with me and have a pillow fort and just relax and talk for a while, tell each other things that we thought no one else knew or did.
Except we haven't done these kinds of things for a long time. Even if I told you all of this, it wouldn't change anything. You wouldn't fight for this friendship, and I know why. Because you didn't care.
"Okay fine, do whatever you think is best for you." IF I TOLD YOU WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST WAS THAT YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIED TO BE MY FRIEND FOR ONCE, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN DO IT.
I'm crying and I'm a mess and even with it all, I bet you don't even care. You probably regret you wasted so much time in your life on a person like me, and you're right. There's nothing in this life that I need to keep living for, so I'll make it easy for everyone. I'll just kill myself or something.
