So much anger pent up

I'm so angry right now and I have no legitimate reason to be. I just got so pissed all of a sudden. Like every little thought I have about her just makes me so angry. Her mom sending me with her card to buy her fucking strawberries. Her being a pansy about going to tge doctor. Having to pack her god damn suitcase because she's always so lazy to do it herself on time. "Oh I'm so busy" or "I work all the time". Bullshit. You've had plenty of opportunities to pack. Shut the hell up. I packed for you in ten minutes. Spare me your excuses, you could have taken ten minutes out of your busy schedule of lying around or roleplaying or whatever else you waste your time doing.
God, I'm just making myself more and more pissed off, and I need to put on my happy face in just a few minutes. How did a stupid bitch like you get me so wrapped around your finger? I hate that I do so much for you. I hate that even when things are hard for you, they're not really hard at all. I wish I'd fallen in love with someone responsible, and who had a spine and wasn't such a lazy ass. But then, I never have been able to love myself.

Drama queen strikes again

Seriously, she makes stupidly overdramatic posts and statutes to make everyone worry and panic when she's really fine and she just needs to deal with her problems instead of advertising them to get sympathy for every little thing.
It pisses me off. I was so tempted to ruin her little parade by telling everyone she's fine. But I didn't because I'm not publicly a bitch and I have to spend the rest of the weekend with her. Joy.

Tmi

She thinks she has a UTI and I'm terrified and panicking I know it's not bad but she never handles medical things well or takes care of herself properly and so it's my job but I can only do my job if she listens to me!
I just need to breath and calm down. Panicking while I can't do anything directly won't help the problem. If it was bad she wouldn't go to work. She's probably just overreacting as usual. I sincerely hope so. I don't need to deal with v this right now especially on top of everything else.
I'm just a mess today, so out of it and nervous and feeling like I'm fraying at the edges. I might go buy a chai after work.

I hate this con

I just want to go home.
I'm broke because of her. I'm miserable because of her.
She made me owe her for this swimsuit and then doesn't want to wear swimsuits after all.
I want to die. I want to go home. My medicine isn't working.

Of course she doesn't

Of course she doesn't want to do what I want to. Because if we ever did something I wanted to do we'd actually be friends right?
I'm so fucking done with her and our trip hasn't even started.
This whole thing is going to suck balls. I don't know why I expected it to actually be fun for once. I really need to stop going to cons.

I'm trying to be the better person

Yes, I'm always bitter and hateful towards her, and I know it's because I have jealousy in me. I know I'm jealous of how she gets everything, or how her parents actually love her, or how skinny she is or how pretty she can be, and I shouldn't be. I shouldn't compare myself to her, and even then I have tons of redeeming qualities that she doesn't have, like being intelligent and having a great GPA in college and being able to drive and have functioning sexual relationships and those are things that matter in the real world but at the same time in this damn fantasy world she forces us to live in with cons every month and cosplay this and tumblr that, she's somehow the more competent one. She's so social and she has so many friends and they all just fawn over her and live in her dumb little world and I just want to bitch slap her into reality. Like, so she fucking realizes real life isn't about how many damn cosplays you do or how many followers she has on the internet it's about getting good grades and driving and having a permanent job and a house and completing college and the more I think about it the angrier I get. Like I got handled colitis, shitty parents and a meager college fund and I got through college with excellent grades. Where as she got a huge ass amount of stuff handed to her, never truly gave a shit about her school life and still is allowed to live how she wants. Why the hell should that be allowed? The only time she has major anxiety is when she fucks herself over with her dumb ass decisions. I have to have anxiety over her, and things that aren't my fault.
I guess the reason why I'm jealous is because I grew up to be the person everyone said was ideal yet slackers like her are the ones who get to live the ideal lives.