Help Yourself or No One Will

Fucking solve your own problems. I don't rely on you to fix everything for me. So why do you do it to me?
I can't even do anything for you if you won't even start looking for a solution. Solving problems is too hard for you, all you do is complain and set yourself to fail. If you've got a problem, all you do is whine about it, you don't try to fix it, or even figure out what is wrong. And it's so god damn irritating. How do you even expect to get through life the way you are? You won't make it through like the stupid idiot you are now.
And now you're just sitting there playing around on your phone. Didn't you say you had so much to do?
You piss me off so much and I'm not even sure how anyone honestly ever put up with your crap. I obviously need to be a more abrasive person to deal with your shit but that's too much effort to change myself again just to deal with all of your problems.
You cry when I say I'm used to your shit? Why does it even surprise you? I'm the one on the pills but you're the one that should be downing pills by the handful and be put in a loony bin. I'm used to you? More like I fucking have to be or I'd go insane because your shit is fucking ridiculous.
I say I'm used to it, but what I mean is stop. Stop being so fucking annoying.  Deal with these god damn destructive habits because they're only going to fuck you over, honey. They're not my problems, they're yours.

It's a limit

I can only do so much. I'm not a miracle worker.
I feel like I owe it to her to do things for her and put up with her shit, because she puts up with my shit.
But I just get so irritated and frustrated and it's so hard to just to put up with her.
She uses it as an excuse to let her emotions be even more of a hassle. She already doesn't handle her fucking problems, and then you add her using this excuse to just put more emotional bull shit on top and I get so fed up with it.
Seriously, just fucking face your god damn problems and stop making them my problems. I'm going to be so relieved when I don't have to deal with her every day this summer. She'll still probably text me and whine and bitch and moan about every little thing, but at least I won't have to deal with her in person.
I can't wait.

I've reached that point again

Every Shuto I've reached this point. The one where I can't stand her and what she does to me anymore and I want to tell her to take a flying leap off a tall building.
I know she knows I'm upset with her. And she honestly can't fix the problem because I can't tell her because I'm not supposed to have feelings.
Everyone else can have pet peeves and breaking points and arguments, but as soon as I step out of line it's game over. Which makes it even more annoying when my emotions rear their ugly head. Because I'm the least allowed to have an opinion but the most likely to need one for all the shit I go through.

I'm so tired and confused

So Sydney kissed me.
On the lips.
Thursday while at the movies.
But ever since then she's made me feel awful when I even mention it or try to cuddle with her. And then complains when I hang back from snuggling with her.
I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. I was so done getting my hopes up. I'd finally come to terms with just being friends, and then she throws that curveball at me. It actually hurts. I'm so tired of hoping and forgiving and getting broken over and over again.
I just want to forget.

It's almost that time again

Ahh, ShutoCon, my third least favorite con. Sydney ignores me, treats me like shit, ditches me, and oh yeah, she'll probably claim the credit for all the work I did to make her cosplays look good.
I spend all this money to be miserable for a weekend and never get any money in return.
I mean, she's making bank this weekend, and you know what I'm doing? I'm worrying about saving enough money for gas to pick her up from class next week because of course she never gives me gas money. I'm so sick of her, especially now that she's extra whiney because she's getting sick. I swear, its like if I didn't spoon feed her everything or baby her or coddle her she'd probably cease to function. Yet no one even realizes how pathetic and unreliable she is because she's always using someone. I'd love to let her flounder and fall but at the same time I don't want to see all the pity she'll get for being so 'alienated and alone' and who else will throw away their lives just to make her happy.
She's useless. She's never on time, not reliable, responsible, financially stable or competent, and she's as unintelligent as a middle schooler who doesn't realize the importance of education or self awareness. She's vain, whiney and overall  a user. I don't hate her, but at the same time I wish she wasn't so toxic.