Oh, honey

You wouldn't know if I was pissed or not. You never really do. You think you know me? You don't. So please, tell me who you think I am and what I'm feeling and I'll just play along. Because it's so sad that you can't even really know a person who does everything for you. I actually feel sorry for you.

It's nice to not need this

Sometimes, it's nice to not need to blog out my emotions. But then the time comes where I can't vent silently anymore because I get too tired of people's shit, and their pity parties and their cries for attention. Someday, I'd like to go back to the days when I was the leader, not the slave. When I could say something and it wouldn't be overshadowed by what everyone else was saying instead. When I started something and people would follow. Instead of being forced to be the follower. Forced to sit in the shadows. Forced to do everything for everyone. Because it sucks ass and I'm tired of it. And as much as I say I'm tired of it, it doesn't make a difference. No one cares. Because no one listens unless it benefits them. So go back to reading all your popular friend's posts about their pathetic lives, and realize, you feel the same way. Because their lives apparently mean so much more than yours, just because there are more people to listen.

Well fuck them, I say. Fuck them with a candlestick. Because we're worth something, even if everyone takes advantage of us and treats us like shit. If we weren't here, the world wouldn't go around. And they don't realize it. Wouldn't it be nice to see how badly they'd crash and burn if we weren't around?
But then comes the fear. They probably wouldn't notice we were gone at all. They'd just get someone else to do all the work, make someone else their bitch, their slave, their little toy. And then we'd be obsolete. If only everyone would realize what leeches these kinds of people were. If only we could all just say, "Nope, not today, do it yourself if you need it." Or make them realize it's not just a charity center. That they have to give to get. That they can't just get what they want for free, just because they asked for it. They need to learn their lesson. Everyone does.

Why do I bother?

I'm not good at anything. The things I do don't matter.
I'm not popular. I'm never going to have a billion friends.
I'm not pretty. No one's ever going to look at me and say "Wow, you should model."
I'm not social enough. Even bothering to talk to two people continuously on the internet is a stretch.

But you know what? I'm also not an attention seeking whore who posts about every fucking little thing she does because I need to feel loved and praised and paid attention to at every waking moment. Because you know what? No one cares about my life. I realize this. But it's about damn time half the internet did because honestly I'm sick of reading about their lives. Not to say I can't be sympathetic about their problems, or want to help them in their times of need, but their everyday life posts about fucking face wash and boo hoo how they're going to be so pretty now that they've got a solution pisses me off. Like, seriously. If you're popular enough for people to actually care about that kind of shit you need to shut the fuck up because you are light years ahead of me and I've got pretty damn good skin. So please. Take your mini praise/pity party to your own diary and stop trying to get attention because I'm pretty damn sick of it.